I went to my Ex’s Wedding

What’s all the fuss about really? Why does it matter that i went to my ex’s wedding?

I titled this post as my ex’s wedding more for reaction and effect because really and truly i went to my friends wedding, and that is just how i see it. Yes she was my ex but does it really matter? Apparently to the wider and curious many it it weird that i was there.

So for the purpose of the post i’m going to name my ex claire, as she doesn’t know i’m writing this post nor am i sure she would want mentioning. So myself and Claire met 16 years ago. In a walkabout pub local to me. A typical night out, it was the night after my birthday the young and good looking guy i believed i was back then out having a few beers and on the pull. After meeting this blonde by the dance floor we danced, i cant actually remember if we kissed but then swapped numbers and left each other in separate directions for the night.

Days went on and texts went back and forth, dates occurred and eventually we ended up in a relationship after going official. I was welcomed by her family and accepted with open arms. We went out, we done what couples do and enjoyed life . I  was also lucky enough to be invited by them to go to New York for a family break. A year on and we broke up. My choice, i felt at the time that i wanted a different direction. Absolutely nothing to do with her, she hadn’t done anything wrong but being the young twenty one year old i was decided i knew what was best.

We kept in touch, i’m not sure entirely how she felt about it all, however she was a great woman, hard working, driven, great life ethic and someone who my life was better for having in it than without. Time went on, we never ever went back and tried to rekindle anything, Friends was our new status and that was probably the best that we could ever have chosen to be. We lived our lives, not always seeing each other, months pass without speaking but if need be always there. We would drop an occasional text to each other and say ‘hi hows life?’, with the reply ‘it’s been ages we should meet!’ etc. Not always did we follow through on that but when we did we would, take the piss out of each other and just enjoy our friendship and those hours together catching up with no alternative motive other than friendship..

Boyfriends and Girlfriends came and went, sometimes one of us not being treated as well as possible by the new romantic lead but advice always given in the best interest. If times were tough we could rely on each other to be there, again if not in person just reassuring words..

Years and lives pass, drift also.. We would now go years without seeing on another but felt it important my then girlfriend and now wife met her at one point so she knew who ‘Claire was’ and to see the friendship although now distant that we had.

My father passed five years ago and Claire came to the funeral service, it had been the first time she had seen all my friends since we split a good 11 years previous. In fact it was my then friends who looked more shocked when she turned up. However she was there for me at a time i was vulnerable and showed her support by attending. By now obviously my girlfriend who i was to wed only weeks later was my main support network, along with her family.

I mentioned i was too wed only weeks later, Claire had been invited but with it being in Newcastle, her not really knowing anyone and being single i suspect she would have felt a little awkward so declined my invite. However she had agreed to skype me with my dad who would of been unable to make it for health reasons until obvious events stopped that.

So five years pass since that day and conversations i can count on one hand and meet ups on even less fingers, i am invited to her wedding of which i accepted.. i had heard over the odd text and facebook post that she had finally found someone to put up with her! ha ha – no i mean someone that was lucky enough to deserve her.

So months on since the invite and in May this year i attended the wedding along with my wife which was very handily had the venue chosen ten minutes from where i live. We had been invited to the whole ceremony wedding and after party of which i felt privileged.

We met an older couple and by older i say probably in their 50’s. We have general chit chat and they ask how i know the bride to be, and my response was that she was an old friend. Which happily satisfied the question to them, we carried on conversing and ended up being taken under their wing for the day. I didn’t have to say i’ve come to my ex’s wedding. A couple more introductions through the day and the same repeats itself.. how do you know… i’m old friends, question/answer and again of the more experienced or polite generation, all was fine.

Now to those of my age, and i’m not sure what or why the curiosity but the same question gets asked and rather than be satisfied and continue making small talk at the dinner table, the next question.. but how did you meet? Like being friends wasn’t enough. Was it more peculiar as i was a man that knew her? A guest of the bride? Rather than making something up like ‘Oh through work’ which may have led to questions i would be unable to answer i told the truth..and there it was  -the look on the faces..your an ex? Your’e at the wedding? A moment of awkwardness. As more people probed the more awkward i felt answering. Pausing to think do i need to say this again. i was there s a friend and for me that’s all that mattered. There were no long lost feelings of love or romance, just joy at seeing her and her new husband share in a special day.

So if you read this i ask, don’t be nosey or curious about people being friends. or how they met. Does it really matter? You are all at the wedding for a common reason. Really what’s all the fuss about? Yes it was to some, me going to my ex’s wedding but i finish as i started i saw it as me attending my friends wedding.

Thanks for reading,

Aaron Whittington

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